Getting Over Overeating for Teens: Talking with the Author By Andrea Wachter, LMFT and Janice Bremis

I was recently interviewed by Janice Bremis, founder of Eating Disorders Resource Services, to discuss my new book, Getting Over Overeating for Teens. I’m posting our discussion in the hopes of reaching any teens, parents and health professionals who might benefit from this resource. Please help spread the word by forwarding or sharing this interview on social media. 

Janice: What sparked the idea for this book? 

Andrea: Overeating, binge eating and body hatred are epidemic in our culture, and I’m passionate about trying to help people who are struggling with these painful issues. I began hating my body as a teen and was given the only tips the crazy culture had up its sleeve: diet and exercise. These were definitely not the solutions I needed, and like millions of others, I began a downward spiral of overeating, bingeing, sneak eating and yo-yo weight fluctuations, not to mention decades of body obsession and self-hatred. 

I also know how important early prevention is; helping someone dismantle their unhealthy beliefs about food, fitness and feelings when they’ve been struggling for a few years (as opposed to a few decades) is likely to be that much more successful. While there’s always hope for change regardless of how long a pattern has gone on, guiding someone onto a healthier path in their teens, rather than starting when they are more entrenched in their beliefs and behaviors, can really make a difference, both in prognosis as well as quality of life. 

Janice: Who is the target audience for your book?
Andrea: The book was written for adolescents who struggle with overeating, binge eating and body image. It can also help parents and health professionals to better understand and guide the kids they are concerned about.

Janice: Can you clarify for me and our readers, the difference between overeating and binge eating?

Andrea: Yes, this is a very common question. Overeating is when you eat more than your body needs. It’s important to know that even people who have a totally healthy relationship with food will overeat on occasion. It only becomes problematic if they do it too often or if it has negative consequences.
Binge eating is when someone eats a large amount of food in a short amount of time. They usually eat fast, and until they are stuffed and ashamed. And they usually eat over painful emotions and thoughts, rather than true physical hunger. Someone who binge eats can also be considered an overeater but someone can struggle with overeating and not necessarily binge on large amounts of food.
Janice: In your introduction, you describe the importance of building a “Stable table.” Can you explain this concept?

Andrea: The book is divided into four sections that each represent one leg of a metaphorical table: feelings, thoughts, body, and filling up. The idea is that in order to get over overeating (to have a “stable table”), all four areas need to be addressed. Building only one leg, which is what most diets do, results in an “unstable table.” So, for example, when someone focuses solely on eating less and exercising more but doesn’t learn how to identify and cope with the emotions they are eating over, they will likely turn to overeating in an attempt to soothe their intolerable emotions and unmet needs. Or if someone is trying to do more fulfilling things in their life but is filled with unkind thoughts and an internal soundtrack of self-hatred (what I call the “unkind mind”), they are likely to pick up extra food in an attempt to quiet that mind, get a break from it, or confirm its critical messages. If someone goes to therapy to get help with their emotions but does nothing to address their restricting and overeating habits, they are not likely to feel better in their body. So working on all four areas—feelings, thoughts, body and filling up—which the book addresses in detail, is how someone can get over overeating and gain so many more necessary life skills in the process.

Janice: Can you tell us a little bit about each of the four sections of the book? 

Andrea: Gladly! Section one is what I call “Healing What You're Feeling.” In the same way our culture teaches us that there are acceptable and unacceptable foods, many of us are also taught that there are acceptable and unacceptable emotions. Namely, happy is good; sad, mad and scared are not so good. I think this is a large part of why our culture is more depressed, anxious, addicted and medicated than ever. So this section helps teens learn everything they need to know about emotions: where they live inside of us, how to name them, what their purpose is, what to do with them, and how to welcome and tolerate them rather than eat over them. I write that "we either deal with the feelings we are eating over or we deal with the feelings we have from overeating." Personally, I always wished there was a door number three, but no such luck. As they say, “The only way out is through!” So section one arms readers with many tools that will help them not only get over overeating but also with life in general. Over the years, I've received many calls and emails from clients who originally came to me for eating and body issues in their teens. They report back from college or adulthood that they feel so much more equipped to deal with stress, emotional ups and downs, and relationship issues as a result of the early work they did.

Section two is about our thinking. I call it “Pay No Mind to Your Unkind Mind.” An overeating problem is, in large part, a thinking problem. Most overeaters have a very strong internal program running (the unkind mind). Unkind thoughts lead us to have painful feelings, and painful feelings lead many people to crave extra food in order to comfort themselves or numb out. So learning how to challenge our unkind minds and upgrade to kinder ones is a huge part of getting over overeating. This section of the book, in large part, uses teen-friendly language to teach mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy. 

Section three is titled “Befriending Your Body.” I liken it to taking care of your electronic gadgets. You don't want to overcharge them, and you don't want to run them down too low. So I encourage readers to "take care of their body battery," and this section teaches them many ways to do this. Readers will learn about the ineffectiveness of dieting and how restricting (either in reality or mentality) most often leads to rebelling. (I call it “diet or riot.”) They can learn how to access an intuitive inner voice that will help them make their food choices and step off the diet/riot roller coaster. Other related topics include “Finding Your Natural Weight in a Natural Way” and “Beating the Body Image Blues.” 
Finally, the fourth section is what I call “Filling Up Without Feeling Down.” It’s filled with stories, teachings and tips about how to nurture the deeper parts of ourselves. Teen readers will learn many ways that they can get support, connect with their own innate intuition and feel truly filled up without feeling bloated and ashamed afterward. 

Janice: I noticed that out of the forty activities in your book, only five are actually about food. Can you say something about this? 

Andrea: While overeating is certainly about healing one’s relationship with food, it’s also about so much more: learning how to cope with painful emotions; communicate difficult thoughts, feelings and needs; quiet your mind; treat your body with respect; and find more sweetness and comfort in life, just to name a few. The reason traditional diets have such a high failure rate is that they usually neglect to address all the important underlying issues that need to be revealed and healed. Once people understand and resolve the deeper issues that caused them to turn to excess food and diets in the first place, they’ll no longer need to use food and body obsession as distractions or numbing agents. Food can take its proper place and serve the purpose nature intended it to: nutrition and pleasure. Then new healthy coping skills can replace unhealthy over- and undereating.

Janice: How does a parent, counselor or doctor touch on such sensitive topics like overeating and body image if they want to recommend your book to a teen they are concerned about?

Andrea: Very compassionately, very nonjudgmentally—and definitely not while the teen is eating! You are right; eating, weight, body image and exercise can all be extremely sensitive and charged topics for anyone who is struggling with these areas. Our culture bombards us with so many messages about how we are supposed to look and what we are supposed to eat and how we are supposed to exercise that it’s no wonder eating disorders and body obsession are rampant. If a teenager has previously shared their body or eating distress with their parent, that could be a good lead-in for the parent to open the topic. For example, “You’ve mentioned lately that you’ve been struggling with your body image and wanting to go on a diet. I recently heard about this book for teens who are dealing with dieting, overeating and body image. Are you are interested in taking a look at it?” (This could be spoken or written, by the way. Sometimes a note or an email can give teens a little time to process a sensitive topic.)  If the parent has similar issues, that can be another good way to start. For example, “You know that I’ve been struggling with dieting and overeating since I was a teenager. I know that you’ve said that you are too. It’s so hard, and I know that strict dieting is not the answer, and neither is overeating and feeling bad about ourselves. I heard about this book and wonder how you would feel about reading it together, or reading it on your own if you prefer? I’m going to work on this stuff too and I thought it might be cool if we did it together.”
Although it sometimes reduces shame when a parent who has similar struggles lets their child know this, it’s important not to get too into your own issues, eliciting the classic glazed-over eyes that often follow the classic "When I was your age…” line! Keeping it brief and planting a seed is ideal. Counselors, dietitians and nutritionists who are working with an individual (or a group) might consider recommending the book or offering a no-obligation invitation for the teen to share anything they write or learn from it. You could also consider going through one activity each time you meet. I often let my young clients know that I’m recommending the book to several other clients as well, in the hopes of diminishing shame and letting them know they aren’t the only ones who are struggling in this area. Doctors and other health professionals who want to recommend the book to teens and parents might let them know that they work with many teenagers who struggle with overeating, that strict dieting is not the answer, and that there is hope and help for anyone struggling with food or body-image issues. Hopefully you can see a theme here: being kind and nonjudgmental, and trying to remain neutral about whether they read it, steering you clear of the ever-so-popular parental power struggle!


Andrea Wachter is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the author of Getting Over Overeating for Teens. She is also co-author of Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Breaking the “I Feel Fat” Spell and The Don’t Diet, Live-It Workbook. An inspirational counselor, author and speaker, Andrea uses professional expertise, humor and personal recovery to help others. For more information on her books, her Huffington Post blogs, or other services, please visit www.andreawachter.com ​

Janice Bremis is the founding member and Executive Director of the Eating Disorders Resource Center (EDRC). She graduated from San Jose State University with a BA in Liberal Arts and has worked in the healthcare community for most of her career. She was diagnosed with an eating disorder in 1975 and is well aware of the stigma associated with the disease, as well as the importance of emotional support and access to quality treatment. She is very passionate about advocating for people who have eating disorders. For more information, visit: www.edrcsv.org

​To the people who criticize my body:
  I want you to know that you have no right to judge my body or make assumptions about my health or well being based on my size. You have no right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t eat and you have no right to suggest new exercises or diets to me. You cannot assume that I want to change my body because it’s size makes you uncomfortable. It is not my goal to make you comfortable, it is my goal to be happy, safe, and whole. You try and send me the message that I matter less because of this body, but I matter regardless of my size. I matter and you cant take that away from me. Your opinion of my body does not change my value and worth. I know that I am valuable and worthy of love, care, and connection. I am done caring more about what you think of me than I care about my own well being. I am worthy of food and health and nourishment. My body deserves to be taken care of, loved, and respected and I wont let anyone take that away from me.  I don’t care what you think about my body because my body is none of your damn business.


-Anonymous

"Recovery is possible. I repeat, recovery is possible! 
For months when I first begun recovery, every night I lay in bed thinking how I could never do it, it felt impossible. I would think, I'll never progress in recovery and escape my ED.  If you feel this way, it's okay, I've felt that way too. But just because you feel that way, doesn't mean it's true. 
Trust your team. Follow your meal plan. Be honest with yourself and staff, speak up in groups and your individual therapy, and take it day by day. RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE!"
-Former Lotus Client JH
#thisisrecovery

While in recovery from an Eating Disorder, behaviors are often a guide. Observing behaviors can give clues to deeper thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and needs. An identifying marker for ‘binge eating’ is a feeling of being out of control, a disconnection if you will from one’s whole self. Yogic movements and breathing techniques can help someone to connect with their whole self, as well as a higher/wiser self and can therefore be an effective intervention for those who struggle with binge eating.

As a Registered Dietitian and trained yoga teacher specializing in Eating Disorders, I have come to understand that there are different forms of binge eating and not all experiences are the same: there are binges driven by a force of frenzied energy, a yearning for recognition/self-care, or a desire to escape what is. The following are yoga based interventions that I have observed as helpful behavior modification techniques.

Binges driven by a force of frenzied energy, anxiety, or stress (what a yogi might call the ‘monkey mind’):

This type of binge might include eating standing up, taking large bites, not fully chewing food before swallowing, and eating at a fast pace. Those who struggle with this form of binge eating often struggle in a broader sense to slow down, to surrender to the flow of life, and to be in the present moment with all that currently is. Transitions during the day from one task to the next, or coming home from a day of work are high-risk times for these individuals. Using yogic techniques during these transition periods as an outlet for energy flow and to re-connect with self can be profoundly helpful. A suggested yoga sequence: In a seated position, lion’s breath three times and Kapalbhati breath for thirty seconds to one minute, followed by three to five minutes in legs up the wall pose (Viparita Karani).

Binges driven by a yearning for recognition, self-care, or love (in yoga an imbalance in the solar plexis and heart chakras):

Markers of this type of binge include eating in a comfortable place such as a couch or bed, eating highly palatable food, and savoring every taste/flavor of said food. It is all rather romantic while also surprisingly self-loathing and comes from a place of longing and deserving. Suggested yoga poses for intervention: bow pose (Dhanurasana) three times for five breaths, reclined bound angle pose (Supta Baddha Konasana) with one hand on heart the other on navel for three to five minutes, and corpse pose (Savasana) while covered with a heavy blanket for three to five minutes.

Binges driven by a desire to ‘shut-down,’ ‘power-off,’ ‘numb-out,’ or escape the current reality (what a yogi might call not being present):

This type of binge is often planned in advance and entails completely mindless eating without recognition of the foods’ flavors. It often occurs while simultaneously watching TV or using alcohol or other substances. The eating itself in combination with the outside distraction is used in an attempt to stuff down or escape uncomfortable and intolerable thoughts and emotions. Those who experience this form of binge eating benefit from practicing therapeutic techniques of emotional tolerance and titration. Recommended yoga asanas: uncomfortable poses with breath such as hip-opening poses (figure four, thread-the-needle, and pigeon). However, in the moment of a behavior urge, a more effective yogic intervention might include a few sun salutations (Surya Namaskara), A or B, to assist with the flow of energy, release of intense emotion, and grounding to the earth/reality.

As with all forms of activity included as part of Eating Disorder recovery, it is important to use yogic intervention in combination with other interventions and coping skills so that physical activity is not the only method of emotional and energetic management solidified.

“In the rubble of your shaken spirit, an illusion and a truth”

-Kylie Johnson

Truth #1: You can't tell by looking at someone whether they have an eating disorder. 

Truth #2: Families are not to blame. 

Truth #3: Families can be the patient's best allies in treatment. 

Truth #4: Eating disorders are not choices, but serious biologically-influenced mental illnesses. 

Truth #5: Eating disorders affect people of all genders, ages, races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, socioeconomic statuses, weight and body size. 

Truth #6: Eating disorders carry an increased risk for both suicide and physical/medical complications. 

Truth #7: Genes play a role in eating disorders, but environment also influences their development. 

Truth #8: Genes are not destiny when it comes to eating disorders. 

Truth #9: Full recovery from an eating disorder is possible. 


Produced in collaboration with Dr. Cynthia Bulik, PhD, FAED and the Academy for Eating Disorders, along with other major eating disorder organizations (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders, National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, National Eating Disorders Association, The International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals Foundation, Residential Eating Disorders Consortium, Eating Disorders Coalition for Research, Policy & Action, Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association, Binge Eating Disorder Association, Eating Disorder Parent Support Group, International Eating Disorder Action, Project HEAL, and Trans Folx Fighting Eating Disorders). - See more at: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/blog/9-truths-about-eating-disorders#sthash.62AfaADk.dpuf

I have been with my boyfriend for five years. Today, his mom sent me an email. In this email, she told me (in two pages) why she is concerned for my health and weight. Her reasons were mostly medical, insisting I have hormonal issues and possibly PCOS because (she is projecting, for one) her niece was recently diagnosed with it. Her email came mid school day for me, one of my longest days of the week. Needless to say, this email crushed me. I felt ashamed, overwhelmed, confused, angry, heartbroken- all of it. I felt like my boyfriend's family didn't see me for who I am, but rather who they thought I should be. 

I wasn't going to respond. I was overcome with embarrassment and hurt. No one had ever taken such a concern and I was worried I looked awful. I knew that if I didn't find a way to turn this around and quick, my eating disorder and shame would creep back. So I sat down and wrote back to her. I wrote honestly, openly, and kept true to myself. I needed to share, because this is my truth, and also because I am so proud of what this says about my recovery.

Here's my response:
Leslie,
I don't think it will come as a shock when I tell you that this email disappointed and hurt me. 
Since you are always honest, I assume that I am able to freely express my feelings regarding this email.

I feel as though this advice would be much more warranted had my habits or health be inquired about. It was never asked  if I was in good health, you only assumed I was not, I’m guessing, based on the fact that I have fat. This is very disheartening for me, as I have been working for my entire 20’s to become the healthier, happier version of myself that I am today.

When I was Bulimic and starving myself, I went through major health issues. My hormones and thyroid had been damaged, my blood levels were terrible, and my weight was at an all time low and accompanied many other issues. I was miserable at the peak of my illness, however, compliments on how my body looked never ceased. No one cared that I was miserable or sick, because I “Looked good.”

Now, fast forward to one of my last doctors appointments. I got a blood test that indicated after 5 years of recovery, trauma work, and food - not only were my hormones were normal, but my thyroid had HEALED! (Although doctors had told me years of starving myself would surely mean it was permanent.) It was the healthiest I had ever been. This seems hard to believe for some who stick to the assumption that all fat is bad. However, when my body was shutting down from starvation no one was concerned. Yet ironically, it is at this point in my life that I get a concerned email regarding my health.

I love and take care of my body. Your email did indeed make me feel as though my lifestyle and the way I look is being openly judged. This is painful because I love your son and family, and I want you to see all of the good things I am and can offer the world. I shouldn't need to defend my lifestyle to anyone. I shouldn't feel as though I owe anyone any explanation of my journey or my body, or of how I look. I shouldn't need to tell you that I work out, eat mindfully, and nourish myself healthfully and without binging. I shouldn't feel ashamed around certain people I fear may be judging me.

I can tell you that I am proud of my recovery over the last 5 years, weight gain and all- because it was my path to full recovery (as it is for many with an eating disorder.) I am healthy, I have none of the mentioned symptoms, and I have the right to feel good about myself. I have always been chubby, unless I was sick. It is my genetics, my shape, my structure, and unless I risk my recovery by taking drastic measures, I will most likely always be a thicker person in general.

I do hope you see more than the fat on my body, because I am so much more than the inferences someone can make about it. I'm going to say thank you for your concern, although it is unnecessary.

I hope you understand where I am coming from, and see all the positive things my experiences and my body has done for me. I am what I am, and I am going to do my best to keep taking care of myself and practicing loving this body I am in, especially when other people do not.
Best,
April

#thisisrecovery

The Science of Friendship: Nurturing Social and Emotional Intelligence with Christine Brooks, Phd
Tuesday, January 20, 2015  7:00 PM - 8:30 PM PST
701 Mission st, Santa Cruz Ca
Christine will introduce the Science of Friendship, or the motivations, behaviors, and skills necessary to make and maintain friends, which are core components of social and emotional intelligence. In her work with individuals and teams, Christine teaches the critical processes of befriending: ways to find common purpose, create solidarity and use the power of interconnection to enhance success in our professional and personal lives. Concepts and practices of social and emotional intelligence can be useful in a practitioner’s personal growth as well as techniques to implement with clients in virtually all healing settings. Christine will offer practical tips to take into your own practice. Christine Brooks, PhD, is a coach and educator with over 20 years experience integrating creativity and self-awareness practices into her own work and in supporting the work of others. She has a doctorate in psychology with specializations in clinical psychology and transformative education and research from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. Christine co-founded the Science of Friendship Project in 2012 because she believes that our capacities for interaction and connection are our greatest commodities. In addition to her coaching practice, Christine gives presentations on multiple aspects of Friendship including The Art of Letting Go, Befriending the Self, and Friendship and Personality Types. Her book, The Science of Friendship will publish in summer 2015. 
To find out more about Christine Brooks: 
Email: christinebrooksphd@icloud.com 
Website: http://scienceoffriendship.com/

 Soul Yoga with Dr. Pamela Singer, Certified Yoga Teacher
Wednesday, January 28, 2015   9:30 AM - 11:00 AM PST
1610 Union Street, San Francisco Ca

Dr. Singer, a certified yoga teacher and ED psychologist, will take attendees through a 30 minute yoga practice specifically tailored for those suffering from an eating disorder. She will take guests through her process of integration exactly as she does for her clients, with process afterwards regarding the benefits of yoga incorporation in ED recovery treatment.
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/name/Pamela_Singer_PsyD_Los+Altos_California_131657