For Immediate Release
The Lotus Collaborative’s Founder & CEO to be featured on live radio show Dr. Elizabeth Esalen asking public to pose eating disorder questions to be answered live SANTA CRUZ, California, January 3rd, 2013 –Dr. Elizabeth Esalen, founder and CEO of The Lotus Collaborative, will discuss eating disorders on 1080AM KSCO’s syndicated Food Chain Radio program, airing live from 9am to 10am Pacific (12noon to 1pm Eastern). The Food Chain is heard on commercial radio stations throughout the United States and on the Internet everywhere. Specifically, says KSCO’s General Manager, Michael Olson, they will discuss “What goes wrong and how can it be fixed?" Dr. Elizabeth Esalen is asking Santa Cruz and surrounding counties to pose questions they’ve always had about eating disorders to be addressed during the show. She will take any and all questions, easy and complex. Questions can be submitted via The Lotus Collaborative’s Facebook page or emailed directly to their Marketing Director at tracy@thelotuscollaborative.com. All questions will remain anonymous. The interview will occur 2 days after The Lotus Collaborative celebrates their 2nd anniversary with an annual Sparkle Party, which the public is invited to. The Lotus Collaborative also invites the community to attend their weekly Recovery Support group every Sunday from 1-2:30pm. Meet other people working towards recovery from their eating disorder in a safe environment with the opportunity to build relationships and practice recovery skills or recovery coaching skills. Lunchtime meal support is available at 12 Noon. Free and open to the community. Running parallel to the Recovery Support group, also weekly on Sundays from 1-2:30pm, is their Family & Supporters Recovery group. This free community support group is designed to provide parents, partners, siblings, roommates or other family members in the community with time devoted just to them; to recognize common struggles and learn new ways to cope. RSVP for both groups via info@thelotuscollaborative.com About The Lotus Collaborative The Lotus Collaborative is a health & recovery center specializing in eating disorder treatment, health, weight, exercise, and nutrition concerns. In addition to providing day treatment, individual, group and family therapy, TLC provides education, nutritional counseling, life skills training, mindfulness & free community support. Visit http://www.TheLotusCollaborative.com Media Contact Tracy Korpela, Community Relations & Marketing Coordinator The Lotus Collaborative 701 Mission Street, Santa Cruz, CA 95062 831.818.1602 cell Tracy@thelotuscollaborative.com
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Kantor & Kantor Applauds the Department of Health and Human Services for Issuing the Final Rule for Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equality
NORTHRIDGE, Calif., Nov. 21, 2013 /PRNewswire On November 8, 2013, after five years of deliberation, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) issued the Final Rule for the Paul Wellstone and Pete Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equality Act (MHPAE) of 2008. The Final Rule details how insurers must cover care for mental health and addiction treatment. Kantor & Kantor LLP congratulates the Eating Disorders Coalition (EDC) and the Residential Eating Disorders Consortium (REDC) for their instrumental roles in fighting to ensure that the Final Rule provided the fullest protection for patients with eating disorders. Founding partner Lisa Kantor is honored to be a member of the board of the EDC and the advisory board of the REDC. Through avenues such as lobbying and public education campaigns, the EDC and REDC tirelessly strived to provide the protection that those suffering with mental health conditions or addiction deserve. These organizations faced an uphill battle in their efforts to establish parity for those suffering with mental illness and addiction. Parity ensures appropriate treatment is covered by health insurance policies. Although MHPAE was passed over five years ago, the bill has lacked the clarity and guidelines necessary to hold insurers accountable for mental health and addiction coverage. The Final Rule removes ambiguity from the language of the bill in five significant ways. In the change most substantial for our clients, the Final Rule defines intermediate services such that it requires that medical/surgical care and behavioral health services be handled in a comparable fashion. While the Final Rule does not specifically require that residential services be covered, it does say that if insurers offer "post acute care services" for medical services, then they must also offer coverage for residential treatment and other intermediate services for behavioral health. "The Final Rule clarifies the intent of the MHPEA," said Kantor. "Not only does this confirm the way insurers must interpret the law, but it lays the foundation for true parity for those seeking treatment for mental illness and addiction. I am confident that the Final Rule for this law will remove significant barriers to those seeking mental health and addiction treatment. Furthermore, this will provide my clients - most of whom suffer with eating disorders - access to life-saving treatment." Other significant changes include eliminating the term "clinically appropriate exception" from the Non Quantitative Treatment Limits (NQTL) portion of the regulations. This means that plans will no longer be able to require a patient to go to a facility in their own state if the plan allows plan members to go out of state for other medical services. The Final Rule now recognizes Multi-Tier plans and multiple provider networks, so long as they are not more restrictive than similar plans providing coverage for non-mental health or addiction coverage. Under the Final Rule, Managed Care Organizations (MCOs)/Insurance Plans must disclose medical necessity definitions and the process used to construct NQTLs. Finally, the Final Rule provides a formula for how plans and insurers can deal with cost exemptions if the changes necessary to comply with the law raise costs by at least 2% in the first year. For more on MHPAE and the fight to eliminate mental health parity violations, see http://eatingdisorderscoalition.blogspot.com/2013/11/edc-succeeds-in-parity-push.html. About Kantor & Kantor, LLP Kantor & Kantor is the largest law firm in the country exclusively representing plaintiffs who have been denied insurance benefits from life, health, disability, and long-term care policies. The firm has extensive experience with the complex appeals process and federal court litigation of ERISA matters and files more ERISA cases than any other law firm in California. For more information, log on towww.kantorlaw.net, call (800) 446-7529, or follow the firm at http://www.kantorlaw.net/Eating_Disorder_Blog.aspx. For Immediate Release
The Lotus Collaborative Celebrates 2 Years in Santa Cruz Santa Cruz Community invited to Annual Sparkle Party Celebration SANTA CRUZ, California, December 16, 2013 -- The Lotus Collaborative is approaching their 2nd year serving Santa Cruz and surrounding counties with their specialized treatment in eating disorder recovery. They hold an annual Sparkle Party Celebration and are inviting the community of Santa Cruz to join them on January 9, 2014 from 5-9pm. At 5pm, the Santa Cruz Chamber of Commerce will commence an official ribbon cutting ceremony to honor their 2-year anniversary. As a community connector, and a new member of Think Local First Santa Cruz, the Lotus Collaborative will be honoring local natural healers through self-care stations for guests to enjoy mini massage therapy sessions, polarity therapy, Breema bodywork, bio-feedback, naturopathic medicine, angel card readings and more. DJ Sparkle, also local, will musically entertain guests inside a heated tent, featuring an impressive lighting display by Om Gallery of Santa Cruz. Tours of the treatment center will occur for the duration of the event, in addition to snacks, a sparkle photo booth, & networking. The Lotus Collaborative also invites the community to attend their weekly Eating Disorder Recovery Support group every Sunday from 1-2:30pm. Meet other people working towards recovery from their eating disorder in a safe environment with the opportunity to build relationships and practice recovery skills or recovery coaching skills. Lunchtime meal support is available at 12 Noon. Free and open to the community. Running parallel to the Recovery Support group, also weekly on Sundays from 1-2:30pm, is their Family & Supporters Recovery group. This free community support group is designed to provide parents, partners, siblings, roommates or other family members in the community with time devoted just to them; to recognize common struggles and learn new ways to cope. RSVP for both groups via info@thelotuscollaborative.com About The Lotus Collaborative The Lotus Collaborative is a health & recovery center specializing in eating disorder treatment, health, weight, exercise, and nutrition concerns. In addition to providing day treatment, individual, group and family therapy, TLC provides education, nutritional counseling, life skills training, mindfulness & free community support. Visit http://www.TheLotusCollaborative.com Media Contact Tracy Korpela, Community Relations & Marketing Coordinator The Lotus Collaborative, 831.818.1602 cell Tracy@thelotuscollaborative.com "I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool." - Theodore I. Ruben, MD
This is one of my favorite quotes in the whole world. It's hung on the wall above my desk and I read it whenever my inner-critic gets too loud. It reminds me of who I am, where I've come from, what I'm on this earth to do and why it's so important to live authentically. I have been staring at this quote for the past few minutes, ruminating on my journey towards self-acceptance and all of the women that I know who struggle so much with this. So many women place more value on the "masterful tyrant" than on the glorious mess that makes us human. I have certainly spent a large portion of my life living within this paradigm. And we place our value there for good reason: most of us have been told from an early age that the ideal woman is anything but messy. She is in fact the opposite: self-contained, rational, put-together, not too much of anything, but enough of everything. Many of us spend every waking moment trying to be more like this ideal and less like the imperfect, sentient beings that we are. But this comes at a great cost. As we deny ourselves our most authentic nature, our deepest and most dynamic parts, we begin to "rob" ourselves of "human aliveness"as this quote so eloquently suggests. We become depressed, aimless, or driven and disconnected. We have to move faster and do more in order to avoid the growing feeling of emptiness and fit into the expectations of a male dominated world. And for what? Ultimately, for love I think. Love and acceptance. Isn't that what we're all striving for? But the longer we deny ourselves and the world our authentic nature - whatever unique form that may take, the further from love and acceptance we get. In my experience, it's near impossible to love or be loved from an inauthentic place - it just leads back to more emptiness. So my hope for all of us, women and men alike is that we begin to recognize this value system based on denial of the essential self; That we challenge the belief that to be loved means to extricate the most alive parts of us and that we embrace the "fool" who knows that the messy-ness in each of us is the most spectacular part of being human. http://realbeautysketches.dove.us/ Here at Lotus, we celebrate the belief that we are more than our bodies, faces and features, but as this video demonstrates, learning to recognize and embrace our external beauty can be a step towards freeing all parts of ourselves. -Lauren Reppy, MFTi 74501 Oh, the holidays...We receive a constant influx of messages that this is the “most wonderful time of the year”, yet we are inundated with anxiety-inducing information about what we should buy, wear, and eat. Not to mention, everywhere we turn people wearing Santa hats or holiday sweatshirts are running us over with shopping carts or fighting with us over the last on-sale blender. These mixed messages are obvious fodder for confusion and a gripping feeling of stress and overwhelm.
And this is just speaking of the external factors that make the holidays a difficult time. Internally, the holidays also bring up many painful memories, associations, and emotions. It is a time when grief becomes very pronounced, missing loved ones we have lost or longing for times when life felt easier or happier. We often feel incredible pressure for things to be “perfect” or “extra special”, which is a total set up to feel like a failure if these standards are not met (and they are impossible to meet!). The holidays also create opportunities for us to spend a lot of social time with family and friends...and often these are people who stir up a lot of intense feelings and send us right to the center of our core wounding and negative core beliefs about ourselves. Then, of course, there is the FOOD. With the holiday season comes countless situations where eating is an expected component. These are not environments easily conducive to having a mindful meal or snack, fighting eating disorder thoughts and urges. You are not only around an overwhelming amount of food but often in social settings that elicit anxiety, anger, sadness, insecurity, discomfort, paranoia, grief, etc. etc. To put it simply, there are triggers everywhere! So how can those in recovery from an eating disorder navigate all of this without going completely crazy? First, it is incredibly important to remember that perfection is impossible AND that it is normal for this time of year to be challenging and painful--even for those without eating disorders! Forgiveness of oneself is key here. Given all the difficulties present, any success or victory under these circumstances is HUGE and deserves to be celebrated. If you challenge yourself to eat a holiday food you have been restricting for years or make it through Thanksgiving dinner without purging afterwards, you are battling your eating disorder in probably the most difficult of times. See if you can be your own uber-supportive friend and listen for your healthy-self voice ready and willing to give you lots of love and encouragement. Take it in. You deserve it! Here are a few general ideas and ways of thinking to help you set intentions for surviving (and maybe even thriving!) this holiday season: ~Step into the holiday season one bite-sized piece at a time. It is so easy to get overwhelmed this time of year. See if you can consciously focus on just doing one bit at at time. For example, instead of thinking about Thanksgiving as a whole, go through the day step by step. When you wake up, do something loving for yourself that feels good. Then, allow yourself to eat something, trying not to think beyond breakfast but just tackling this one activity. Then, bring your attention to what you want to do with the next hour of the day. And on and on like that. One hour at a time is a good amount of time to focus on to help reign in anxiety. ~Take time for yourself! ~In all things holiday-related, do your best not to be all-or-nothing. Take in the pleasurable aspects of experiences and allow yourself to step away and practice self-care when you need it. Give yourself room to be imperfect. Remember that overeating once will not make a difference in your weight and is very common during the holidays. If you are overfull, work with yourself around this truth. ~Be honest with yourself and those around you about what will be helpful. Allow yourself to draw boundaries and remove yourself from situations that are triggering. Take a timeout if you need it! And now, a few specific strategies to help you navigate difficult moments during the holidays: ~Breathe. Anytime you feel anxiety ramping up, allow yourself to pause and take three full deep breaths. This behavior can do wonders to calm your nervous system and make the immediate situation more tolerable. ~Try to interact with others and your surroundings. Anxiety and eating disorder thoughts are seductive and can suck you into your own mind and out of your environment. Try to stay connected to a safe person in conversation or look around. Even take pictures of items, settings, or people that feel calming. ~If you feel yourself struggling or sinking, reach out for support right then! Talk to a safe person where you are or call someone. Even just leaving a message for someone you trust can relieve some of the intensity of the struggle. ~When you find yourself in self-attack mode, try to switch into a mode of talking to yourself as you would a close friend or loved one. How would you encourage them in this situation? Whether the holidays are happy or not, know that getting through them is a huge accomplishment. Give yourself kudos for navigating the holidays no matter what it looks like. Rochelle Greenhagen, MFTi #69763 - Supervised by Marcie Beasley (MFT47715) Met Melissa today, the founder of the She.is.beautiful "The Pinkest" 5k and 10k Event!!! We were definitely meant to meet this vibrant woman who passionately and actively shares our mission. She.is.beautiful is an event in which women have the opportunity to run or walk hard, have fun, be FREE and celebrate the power of being a female! The goal of the walk/run is to encourage women and girls to take the power and positivity they feel through fitness and let it inspire them throughout the other aspects of their lives. Over 5,000 women of all ages, shapes, heights and walks of life will be in attendance, collaboratively uniting on so many levels…. Team Lotus will be there, post-race, promoting PRO MOVEMENT for women! Love your body, don't punish it. We will have many awesome things for you to experience, learn and take home with you. Also make sure to check out Melissa's blog: Unwavering Happiness!
-Tracy Korpela, Marketing and Community Outreach Coordinator August brings big changes to Lotus, new staff, new clients, and a brand-spanking new treatment schedule that will provide support 7 days a week! Our team is super excited, especially to introduce a whole new treatment day on Sunday which will be focused on deep connection to body, self and others. Today marked our first Soulful Sunday, and we started the day with a gentle yoga class focused on grounding, sinking in, and bringing awareness to our connection with the earth. Super sweet and relaxing - a great way to start off our day. :) We had lunch, followed by our weekly community support group (notice the day change from Saturday to Sunday!) which was full of deep listening and insight shared between clients and community members. Mind, Body, Spirit was our last group for clients, where we worked on distinguishing between the different sources of information and wisdom in our lives (our own mind and thoughts, others we trust, a higher power, our inner voice or intuition, etc). While all of these sources can provide useful information, sometimes we can get a little stuck on trying to "figure things OUT" rather than "feel IN to things". A good reminder that there is wisdom already present within and without us... We couldn't have asked for a sweeter day to start off our new treatment schedule! Looking forward to many more Soulful Sundays to come! ~ The Lotus Team P.S. Our newest mentor training group, Recovery Warriors, also began today. This group will be focused on giving individuals in advanced recovery the opportunity to engage in artistic and advocacy based education in the community. For more info, check out the full description at http://www.thelotuscollaborative.com/mentor-training.html Poem written by Deanna Banana, a true Lotus Blossom. We at The Lotus Collaborative are a big fan of Andrea Wachter. She is an amazing local therapist and we are lucky to have her in our community. We wanted to share and pass along her wisdom.
Here is her article on body image: Silent Dilemma An inside look at body image and eating disorders. PLUS: Why ‘fat’ is not a feeling. My earliest memory of “feeling fat” was when I was about 12 years old. Up until that time, I was not all that aware of having a body; I was pretty much just in my body, doing the things that kids do. I had not yet learned that I was supposed to look differently than I did. I had not yet downloaded the program that some foods were “good” and others were “bad.” I did not yet have exercise and movement linked up with calorie burning or self-worth. Then I got teased about my size. I started to compare myself to my skinnier friends and I began what was to become a full-time job of feeling fat. I had no clue at the time that fat was not a feeling. I didn’t know that body obsession was a cover up for low self-worth, and neither did I know, at the time, I was not alone. Millions of people battle their body: some full-time, some part-time. The truth is, we have an epidemic on our hands. An estimated 8 million Americans suffer from a diagnosed eating disorder. This does not include the millions that struggle with food, weight and body issues but may not have or admit to having a full-blown disorder. What other culture praises people for starving themselves? What other culture envies people who lose weight, no matter their means of getting there? What other culture asks people who are often sick, starved and obsessed, what their secret is? This epidemic has no age limit. In my psychotherapy practice, I have seen clients as young as 6 years old who already think that calories and carbs are bad and know about feeling fat. I have worked with senior citizens who have no memory of not feeling fat. And I have treated every age in between. Whether someone is on the restricting end of the pattern, the overeating end of the pattern or bounces back and forth as I did, body dissatisfaction and food obsession are a very painful way to live. The good news is that there is help. There is a way out of the vicious cycle of undereating, overeating and body bashing. Food, Glorious Food The first step to overcoming food and body obsession is learning to put food in its proper place, and learning to eat what you like, in amounts that feel loving to your body and to let go of the “good” and “bad” rules we have all been taught. It is not easy to strike all of our culture’s food rules from our internal record, but it is possible. We all have a part of us that knows what foods we like and what amounts feel good to our body. For most people that innate knowledge is buried under years of “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts.” I spent decades avoiding carbs and fats and then binged on them. It took me a long time to learn how to legalize all foods and learn how to eat any food in moderation. Most people approach a meal with one of two options in mind. The first is deprivational thinking. This leads to an internal soundtrack that sounds something like this: What should I have? What is the least fattening thing on the menu? What has the lowest amount of calories, carbs or fat grams? Others approach their meals rebelling from all those shoulds and this track is more along the lines of: Forget it! I am eating everything I want. I am eating all the stuff I never let myself eat and I will start again tomorrow. And many bounce back and forth between the two. Making peace with food involves a huge do-over. It entails approaching food from an intuitive place that sounds more like: What sounds good to me right now? What seems like a loving amount? If I am not physically hungry, what might I be feeling and needing? Easier said than done? You bet. But walking around in food avoidance and/ or food obsession is no piece of cake either. (Pardon the pun!) With practice and patience, we can learn how to get back our natural relationship with food and eat what sounds really good to us in amounts that feel really right. Beating the Body Image Blues The next piece of the puzzle is often the foundation of what causes food obsession and disordered eating in the first place— body dissatisfaction or, in many cases, body hatred. Most people in our culture do not like their body. Many people despise their body and spend enormous amounts of time lost in that obsession. I know I did. I have memories of being in some of the most gorgeous places on the planet and all I could think about was the size of my thighs or how someone else was thinner than me. What a tragic waste of time. And yet, I was taught, like most of us, that the answer to my problems lay in losing weight and looking perfect. I did not know that many people who looked perfect on the outside also suffered on the inside (sometimes even more severely than others). I did not know that what I was seeking from my pursuit of a certain weight and shape could not be found in that pursuit because no matter how much weight I lost, I still did not like myself and I remained in terror of gaining it back. (Which, by the way, I always did, but only every time!) Finding your natural weight range is a process. It unfolds as you learn to eat real food in moderate amounts and move in ways that you enjoy, also in moderate amounts. Most people begin their descent into the body image blues when they first start to dislike themselves or decide that they are not special enough, valuable enough or loveable enough. We were not born with these beliefs, by the way. We decide them when painful things happen and we cannot come up with a logical reason for the pain. So we turn it inward against ourselves. (More on that later.) Then, rather than work on changing those unkind, false beliefs, many people latch onto the pursuit of trying to change and perfect their body. It’s an easy enough mistake to make since we live in a culture that teaches us at every turn, every mouse click and every check-out aisle, that the solution to all our problems comes from changing our outsides in some way. Our culture has been feeding us this message for decades … If you look a certain way, you will live happily ever after. Why do you think so many models, actors and famous people who seemingly look perfect, battle drugs, food and depression? The answer is because nothing outside of ourselves can change our internal tape (or CD for you younger readers!) We need to delete and upload new messages on the inside. So many people spend their lives thinking they will love themselves or be loveable when they ... (fill in the blank—lose weight, look a certain way, accomplish a certain thing.) But it isn’t until they start experiencing self-love and self-acceptance that they will have a modicum of peace. Does it sound a bit cliché? Self-love is the answer? Is it easier to think I'll love myself when I get (fill in the blank) or get rid of (fill in the blank)? You bet! But then we spend our lives waiting. And for most people that day does not arrive because life will always have its challenges and all bodies change over time. If our means of weight loss is unnatural then we have to live unnaturally in order to keep it. Healing Through Feeling In the same way that many people think there are good and bad foods, most of us have been taught that there are good and bad feelings. Namely, happy is good, scared, sad and mad—not so good. And in the same way that we can have a big do-over with food as we learn to eat all foods in moderation, we can also have a big do-over with feelings as we learn that all feelings are natural and necessary and there are no good or bad emotions. We all have them because we need them all. We just get to decide if we are going to stuff our feelings down, blast them out or experience them in healthy ways. Sounds simple enough, right? Unfortunately though, most of us are taught at a very young age to deny and/or stuff down our feelings. We are often fed or given a pacifier when we are sad or scolded and sent to our rooms when we are mad. In order to have a healthy relationship with food and our bodies, we need to learn how to have a healthy relationship with our emotions. We need to learn how to identify and express them in ways that do not hurt ourselves or anyone else. Of course it’s not easy or fun to cry or to feel angry but it is the only way to achieve health and live a life without depression, anxiety or addictions. All feelings are natural and need to be let out, just like having to go to the bathroom. If we have a feeling and we block up that natural process then we are not going to feel well or be well. Many of us treat our feelings as if they need to be figured out or fixed when what they really need is to be welcomed, understood and comforted. Don't Believe Everything You Think Most people walk around in a trance. I know I did. When I was lost in food and weight obsession, I was basically a mind with legs. I was entirely cut off from my body and I spent the majority of my time fantasizing about the future or rehashing the past. I was either beating myself up for what I said, did and ate or I was obsessing about what I was going to get or get rid of. Needless to say, I was a pretty unhappy camper. Using drugs and alcohol were my attempt at a solution (or so I thought!). I used them to try and get a break from my unkind thinking and although they led to more problems, it wasn’t until I learned other ways to quiet my mind that I could let all addictions go. Now I have the honor of teaching others what I learned so they, too, can climb out of the pit of addiction, depression and anxiety. Things like: challenging rather than believing every thought your mind thinks, using simple but effective mindfulness techniques, meditating or reaching out for help. There is help out here and if somebody is one of the millions that are battling with their body or food, they are not alone. They could reach out for help, whether it is to a trustworthy professional, a safe person in their life or one of the many resources that exist in a community or online. Once that person finds what they are truly hungry for, they do not need to look for it in boxes of cookies or bags of chips. Once they learn to be kind to themselves, they do not need to restrict and diet in the hopes that they will earn love. Once they learn how to welcome all their emotions, they never have anything to run from or stuff down. And once they learn to question their thoughts, they can experience more time here actually being here. Andrea Wachter is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. In addition to her specialty in eating disorders, she also has expertise in the areas of: substance abuse, depression, anxiety, grief and relationship struggles. Andrea is co-founder of InnerSolutions Counseling Services and co-author of “The Don't Diet, Live-It Workbook.”For more information on her book or her online course, “Defeating Overeating” or her “Stress Less” teleclass, visit innersolutions.net. Local Counseling Centers that specialize in eating disorders: InnerSolutions: 476-7500 Cottage Counseling Center: 427-9028 The Lotus Collaborative: 600-7103 Turning Point Psychotherapy: 475-8712 Other Resources: Gurze—gurze.com. Online bookstore with a wealth of resources for eating disorders and body image issues. Geneen Roth—Best-selling author (and one-time local) and pioneer of the non-diet approach to healing compulsive overeating. Visit geneenroth.com Eckhart Tolle—Author of “The Power of Now” and teacher of simple, profound spiritual principles. Leonard Jacobson—Local teacher and author who is devoted to helping people live more in the present moment. Byron Katie—Speaker and author who teaches a method of self-inquiry known as "The Work." Written by Andrea Wachter, LMFT
It starts out healthy enough -- or, seemingly so. Maybe you started by cutting out processed foods. Then desserts. Then sugar. Then meat. Maybe you switched to all organic and while you were at it, went gluten-free and wheat-free. In a culture that has gone health-food crazy, it's easy to see how some people can take a "healthy" diet to an unhealthy extreme. For some, it's a short-lived stage that ricochets into a junk food rebellion. Others find their way back to the middle of the road. But for many, this so-called "healthy" way of eating can become a true obsession and, at its most extreme, an eating disorder known as orthorexia. Derived from the Greek words, orthos, meaning "correct," and orexis, meaning "appetite," people who suffer from orthorexia become obsessed with eating foods they deem healthy, safe or pure. Whether someone has a full-blown disorder or a lesser-degree preoccupation, what is unhealthy about being too healthy is that it is extremely limiting, very time-consuming and can ironically lead to malnutrition. It can also become a replacement and a distraction for finding healthy ways of dealing with anxiety or grief. In my opinion, the definition of a healthy eater is someone who eats healthy approximately 80 percent of the time and with the other 20 percent, has desserts, snacks or quick meals. I always say, moderation in all things (except murder!). When recipe browsing, meal preparation, food shopping, and thinking about eating become an obsession and/or a part-time (unpaid!) job, it might be time to ask yourself if your healthy eating is really healthy. When a slice of pizza with friends or an occasional piece of birthday cake are unthinkable, it might be time to take a closer look at your patterns with food. When taking a day off from exercise feels terrifying or unacceptable, it might be time to examine your so-called "healthy lifestyle." When the list of what feels safe to eat becomes smaller than the list of what is off-limits, it might be time to admit there is a problem. So what do you do if you suspect that you have orthorexia? First, take a look at when it all started. What was going on for you at the time? Many of the people I have treated in my counseling practice have discovered that they started when something painful happened, perhaps a loss, trauma or difficult situation in their lives. Feeling out of control with their painful life situation, they turned to perfecting and purifying their eating. Throw in a crazy culture that glorifies sugar-free, wheat-free, gluten-free and meat-free diets, throw in a sensitive person who has difficulty tolerating and expressing emotions, and the recipe for orthorexia is created, featuring perfectionism, food-obsession and emotional avoidance. Many people who feel out of control with life will latch onto food, exercise and weight control in an attempt to try to control something. It's easy enough to do in a culture that promises us nirvana if we eat, exercise or look a certain way. Wouldn't it be wonderful if it were true? If we could purify our eating, exercise rigorously, attain the perfect body and everything in our lives would magically be okay! It's a great idea in theory, but the real power in life comes from learning how to manage and communicate difficult emotions, and learning how to face life's challenges rather than avoid them with food preoccupation and body obsession. One client in my counseling practice got teased about her looks when she was young. Rather than deal with her emotions and learn how to strengthen her sense of self, she embarked on a health-food diet she read about online. It started out innocently enough and she received a lot of praise for how "good" she was and how much weight she lost. But her healthy lifestyle took an unhealthy turn when it became more and more rigid and limiting. No longer willing to go out to eat with friends, she began to turn down more and more social invitations. No longer willing to eat what her family ate, she began to spend more and more time poring through recipe books and watching The Food Network. No longer casual about exercise, she stopped doing the walks and bike rides she had previously enjoyed with her family, replacing them with hardcore, rigidly timed runs. Another client had a death in her family and turned to so-called healthy eating and "getting in shape" rather than dealing with her grief. It took a near-death experience from malnutrition to get her to turn inward and face the original grief she was literally and figuratively running from. Once she did, she learned it was necessary and healing to cry and that grieving (and eating some foods that were not on her "safe" list) was not going to kill her. It was a shock to her that her so-called "healthy" lifestyle is what almost killed her. Imagine food, weight and exercise as the tip of an iceberg above the surface of the water. That's all you can see and it's what becomes easiest to focus on. But if you go deeper underneath the water and take a look at what you're avoiding, you will find the real issues. For most people it's good old human emotions that they're afraid to face. Whenever an obsession is running the show, it's easier to focus on the tip of the iceberg (in this case, food and eating) and ignore the emotions floating underneath the surface. Oftentimes it's only when the problems caused by food and body obsession get big enough or difficult enough in and of themselves that some people become willing to go deeper to feel and heal their pain. The good news is you can heal your unresolved pain, make peace with difficult life situations and learn how to effectively cope with emotions. Obsessing on recipes, food, cooking, and exercise is a never-ending cul-de-sac since we still have difficult life situations occurring while we are cooking, baking and running! The only real solution is to gain emotional coping skills. The next time you find yourself obsessing on food or exercise, try asking yourself what you might be thinking or how you might be feeling if you weren't thinking about food or exercise. If you have orthorexia, take a look at how isolated and limited your life has become. See if you would be willing to step out of your comfort zone just a little bit. Consider taking a class you have been interested in (one that has nothing to do with food or exercise). Try connecting with an old friend, reaching out to someone new or seeking professional help. Consider challenging yourself to eat a food that is not on your "safe" list and see that nothing bad will happen if you do. (You might have some big feelings, but you will not get big from one food item!) You can learn to ride your emotions out until they pass, and you'll become stronger and more equipped as a result. You might start by adding one food item a week, continually testing the safety of the water. If you are having a free-range burger with organic aioli, try adding a few fries. The next time your friends are going out for pizza, try one slice with your salad instead of a salad only or staying home. Afterwards, you can try journaling out all your thoughts and feelings and reassure yourself that you are not unsafe, just emotionally full of feelings. The next time you are at a birthday party, consider having one piece of cake, even if it's not organic. See if you can begin to speak more kindly to yourself. Your unkind thoughts led you into these rigid patters in the first place, they will not be what gets you out. Just like a child who is afraid to go to her first day of school, you will need a lot of kindness and compassion as you step out of your seemingly comforting rules. You can begin to find safety, value and worth in yourself that is unrelated to your exercise output or your food intake. A question I love asking my clients is, "Ships are safe inside the harbor, but is that what ships are for?" It is safe to venture out. You don't have to set sail for months. Simply taking one small step outside your safe, self-made comfort zone can help you develop new skills and prove to yourself that your safety does not lie in food control but in self-care and self-soothing. Andrea Wachter, LMFT is co-founder of InnerSolutions Counseling Services and co-author of The Don't Diet, Live-It Workbook. Her private practice is in Northern California and she offers teleconferences for anyone, world-wide, who is struggling with stress, anxiety, depression or addictions. Andrea is an inspirational counselor, author and teacher who brings over 20 years of professional experience as well as personal recovery to her clients. For more information on her book, her online course or her teleconference, please visit www.innersolutions.net. For more by Andrea Wachter, click here. For more on eating disorders, click here. For more on emotional wellness, click here. If you're struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorders helpline at 1-800-931-2237. Follow Andrea Wachter on Twitter: www.twitter.com/innersolutions1 |
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